Friday, January 2, 2009

And They Lived Happily Ever After.....

This sign is something that I recently bought because it just spoke to me. It is what I want most in life...to live happily ever after. I want the cancer dragon that is threatening us to be gone so that we can go on living our lives with confidence that all is well. I remember a talk by Neal A. Maxwell where he talked about how we tend to look at our trials and say, "Why me?" when we really need to ask, "Why NOT me?"

Our days have felt as though they are being lived in slow motion -- each day seeming to take so long to turn from dawn to dusk. It's a difficult thing to know that the battle is raging in Tim's body and we still have more time to wait before someone can begin to call in the cavalry of radiation and chemo and whatever else is necessary to defeat the dragon. We have to go on living our lives and doing what we do because life will not wait while we want to sit in a chair and just stare at the wall or while crying in the shower. There are things to be done, kids to take care of, dinners to be made, games to be played, pep talks to be given, jokes to be told. And yet with all of that, there are also tears to be cried, fears to be spoken, worries to be calmed, prayers to be prayed, blessings to hold on to. It's all wrapped up in everyday life....life that goes on with or without cancer. Cancer doesn't care what our plans are for today or tomorrow or for the years to come. Cancer doesn't wait for us to be ready for it -- that doesn't ever happen.
I remember being riveted to a show on the TLC cable channel called Crazy, Sexy Cancer about a young woman, Kris Carr, who had a rare, incurable cancer. They made a documentary of her ups and downs of living with her cancer. She is still alive today -- 5 years after being diagnosed. I remember being so struck by a comment she made and I have never forgotten it. She said, "Cancer wasn't killing me, it was pushing me to live." Maybe it was meant to be that I never forget it because we would need it -- who knew at the time that cancer would touch our lives? The beauty in that statement made me cry then just as it does now. I so want that for Tim and I and our family. I want this dragon named Cancer to push us to be better, do better and love what we have.
I love the phrase that David B. Haight shared that his mother would always say, "Come what may, and love it." I don't love cancer but perhaps I can learn to love better through the trials that will come from battling the dragon.

4 comments:

Natalie.Rob.Branson said...

Lorretta....
I know how our stories can end, and it is happily ever after! It's the waiting part that is so, so hard. Remember that in all "happy endings" there are heartaches along the way. I'm looking forward to one of those hugs when we get back...please know we love you and we're praying all can go well.
I guess we'll both keep working on accepting what comes our way and loving it. I sure am glad there are people like you along the way to make that a little easier...love ya

Marissa said...

That was beautifully put.

Patty said...

And so you shall!

amaree said...

I loved the talk by David B. Haight too, "Come what may, and love it." When we went through our miscarriage just a few weeks ago, of course we were devistated. But life goes on, and on, and on, and we've been blessed with joy and comfort. This dragon is meant to be slain, one way or another. You both will be blessed for your faithfulness, and as one who was touched by a close friend who lost a young son the same age as ours to leukemia, your influence and your strength will touch the hearts the those close to you more deeply than you will ever know. You're an example to us all, and thank you for never being ashamed or embarassed to share your testimony and faith with all of us!