Waiting for Tim....

It has been a long time since I've posted on my blog. Many have commented and/or emailed me about the fact that the blog has not been updated and they wondered what had happened. Things are still quite chaotic on the home front but I am little by little trying to squeeze in a therapy session or two.... a.k.a. writing on my blog. :)

My last post was "Celebration" which was Tim's last day of radiation. Perhaps it was too soon to celebrate as two days later he ended up in the hospital because he had trouble breathing. It is never a good thing when someone tells you that you need to be ready to possibly call 9-1-1 for them in the middle of the night as Tim told me. That night I laid out my clothes, shoes, keys and cell phone so I could be ready in case I had to make that call. As it turned out, thankfully, I didn't have to call 9-1-1 but I did take him to the hospital the next afternoon and they admitted him. He was in such distress there was talk of doing a tracheotomy on him and he felt so bad that that option actually sound like an option he wanted. Fortunately, it did not come to that. Instead many medicines later he began doing better and was released from the hospital two days later.

The day before Tim was hospitalized my sister, Cretta (pronounced Cr-ee-ta), came from New York to help with things here. She arrived by bus -- a 30 hour ride (she's afraid to fly). She wasn't even here 24 hours before the fireworks began with taking Tim to the hospital. She is a quick study in the dynamics of a hectic household that is in stark contrast to her much quieter "life on the Old Saratoga Road" in upstate New York. She found plenty to do from making a "meatball meatloaf" using leftover meatballs from our meatball subs the day before, to finding her way to Walmart which she rarely, if ever, goes to in New York. She even cleaned and organized our garage when she was here -- a job that *really* needed to be done but did not make my priority list in the few months before cancer entered the picture, let alone after. So the garage has had it's spring cleaning and in that spring cleaning Tim wanted to get rid of his radiation mask, never wanting to see it again. So Cretta and I threw it out the mesh figure that represented something that was so brutal. True to the family humor gene we both possess, we find something funny in most everything and disposing of Tim's mask was no different.

Among the many treasures in the garage we found a pirate wig that never made its way back to the Halloween box so we decided to dress up mesh man in the can! Go ahead and say it, we're sick -- we know it! :)

The reason my sister came to Kentucky is not a very pleasant one but it was still good to see her. It was good to laugh and have some lighter moments. Like the night we were at Walmart... (I tell her that "all roads lead to Walmart"!) She pushed the cart into me (I think by accident..but maybe not!) when we were in the checkout lane. When she did that she said, "Oh sorry! I didn't mean to run you over. I meant to poke you in the eye!" Well talk about laugh! Not only us but the guy who was at the checkout! He was so taken by what she said he asked, "What did you just say to her?" When Cretta repeated it he laughed as hard as we did and shared it with a fellow co-worker on the next register over who also laughed! So things like that help to lighten the mood around our house these days. I am use to having laughter in my life and while Tim's sense of humor shows up every now and then, I do miss it. Having Cretta here helped bring that back for a while.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Cretta! :)

So Cretta stayed until Saturday afternoon when I took her to the bus station to hitch her ride east back to her home. I was grateful she come and stayed for a week. She brought with her lots of laughs and she leaves behind some fun memories for the kids and I....as much fun as a poke in the eye! :)

When Cretta left, things seemed to be going well and Tim was able to get more sleep (something he has had so little of for weeks now). This past Sunday he felt dizzy all day and by evening he was throwing up. I stopped all meds and his tube feeding and just did a very slow water drip all night so he wouldn't get dehydrated. He didn't get sick all night but as soon as he began to move in the morning it started all over again. The doctor wanted to see him and do an MRI of his brain because they fear with the dizziness and throwing up that perhaps the cancer had spread. I was more than a little freaked out by them saying that to me on the phone. Some tense waiting time and an MRI later they say the MRI looks good but they don't know what is causing his latest symptoms. We spent all of yesterday in hematologist's office where they were giving Tim lots of fluids, potassium and Zofran for the nausea. We came home with yet more prescriptions to fill and more questions than answers about what Tim is experiencing. Each day we hope to see progress that tells us he is better than the day before -- kind of like a taste of spring that comes with warmer days. You know spring must come but sometimes it takes its sweet time and teasing you each day. By my calendar spring arrived last week. Now I am just waiting for Tim to arrive.

*Tim is my proof reader for my blog. Since he is not up to "proofing" for me I cannot be held responsible for any grammatical errors or anything of the like!!!