My knight is as tough as they come!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
My knight is as tough as they come!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
It was a year ago today that I began my blog. Little did I know that my "little life" would be expanded in ways far beyond my comprehension.
What began with me writing just for fun about the kids and everyday things of life turned into my therapy as we were confronted with Tim's cancer diagnosis.
My blog became the place where my deepest feelings found a voice. It is the place where the sorrow that our family grappled with came into focus. It is the place where that same sorrow gave way to hope and gratefulness for what we have in spite of the burning trials. It is the place that I have shared scriptures that have eased my pain and given me hope. My blog has been my lifeline in many ways.
That said, I have been absent from blogging for a few weeks. I've gotten email from some wondering where I was and asking why I have been AWOL. Let me assure that all is well. Life has just been tugging a little too hard and in too many directions so some things had to be put on hold for a while and unfortunately my "therapy" was on that "hold" list.
But all is well.
So a year has come and gone and my "little life" has been enlarged in more ways than could have ever been imagined. But more importantly, my heart has been enlarged in the process.
"I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart."
Friday, September 11, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Yup, it has left the house and been put into temporary storage until the call is made to Lincare to take it away!
Tim has not used the pump for a week now! He has a doctor's appointment on Thursday where he is anxious to see if he has been able to maintain his weight while getting back to eating real food and Ensure. Once we can verify that he's not losing weight it will be safe to send that pump packing!
On Monday Tim was looking for something in his wallet and found this lovely blue card that he used each day of his radiation treatments. He had to check in at the front desk each day by slipping his card into a machine that would read the card and let radiology know that he was there. Once he checked in we would sit down and wait to be called down for his radiation treatment.
I asked Tim what he wanted to do with the card and it didn't take him long to decide he wanted to cut it up....
Even the blue card was banished.... :D
Friday, September 4, 2009
It was before his feeding tube was put in and all he was able to get down was soup broth and Ensure. A few weeks later he had the feeding tube put in and although that is a trial in itself, it was a relief to have it in so that getting nutrients wasn't such a burden.
I remember the day the oncologist talked about the high probability that Tim would have to have a feeding tube before he finished the radiation and I remember her saying that by the time you get the tube put in it is actually a relief. That was hard to understand in the pre-feeding tube days but it was completely understandable when that point came for Tim.
Tim has been a champion through the whole thing. He's adapted his life around the cumbersome tube. The packing and carrying all his "supplies" that he needed was an art form he perfected over time. The IV pole became his guest of honor in many places from General Conference to basketball games, from church meetings to riding in the car. He's been doing it for nearly 7 months now. He's become a pro, if there is such a thing.
Over the past weeks Tim has been trying to eat more regular foods. It's tough to find things that swallow well. He's been successful for the most part although, as odd as it sounds, his throat tires easily when he eats and then the muscles don't work as well to swallow his food. But, he keeps trying. It's that fighter in him and I know he's going to "win this round"!
A few weeks ago Tim was able to get to the point where he was able to eat enough food to stop his tube feedings during the day and only do the overnight feeding which is a continuous feeding by pump. Little by little, all night long, it pumps his liquid food into him. So during the day life is much more "normal" but at nighttime he would hook up to the pump.
That was life until 3 days ago. On September 1st Tim decided that he would try to go all night long without the pump. It was quite a milestone to go from an all night long pump to nothing! I think it surprised us both the first night that he slept all night long, only waking at 5 am to drink an Ensure as his hunger began to set in.
For the first time in nearly 7 months Tim was free to sleep on his side without the worry of getting the long section of tubing tangled or feeling the uncomfortable tugging that happens where the tube enters into his stomach if there is any tension on the tube. He didn't have to unplug the pump if he need to get up in during the night and there was no warning beep from the pump announcing the tube is kinked. It was a happy day! One more milestone on the cancer road.
In the wee hours of this morning as I had difficulty sleeping, I saw the silhouette of Tim's IV pole and pump by the open window in our darkened room. I wondered how much longer before we can make the phone call to inform Lincare that we no longer need the pump and the IV pole that has literally been Tim's lifeline for all these months. What a thrilling day that will be. It will be a declaration of Tim's stamina and strength to endure.
2 Nephi 31:20
"Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life."