Whatch Ya Gonna Do When They Come for You?

There is a story in our family that I find hysterical. My father (pictured here) does not.

In an attempt to preserve it for posterity I wanted to write it down. No one can tell the story like my father but I will try.

My brother, Mark, was someone that always seemed to find trouble. If he didn't find it, it found him.

One of the times trouble was brewing Mark landed in jail with no Get Out of Jail Free card. I don't even recall what he was in jail for that time but my father would go to visit him in the Big House periodically.

Sometimes he would take things to Mark. He would have to go through security where my father would hand over a bag, the guards would check it then okay the contents as being things that Mark could have.

On one particular visit on October 26, 1982, my father signed in to see Mark and handed over a grocery bag of items to be o.k.'d to be given said prisoner.

Shortly after giving the bag to the guard, a man came out and asked if my father would come with him. He followed the man into a room where the thought that he was going to see Mark but instead they began questioning him about what items he was bringing into the jail.

As they grilled him on what he was bringing to Mark, they pulled something out of the bag he had brought with him in the bag. Holding up an item they asked, "What about this?"

The man was holding a HACK SAW! (BWHAHAHAHAHA!)

My father was stunned! He said he could feel the blood drain from his face. Instantly he started sweating while trying to tell them that he had no idea how a HACK SAW got into the bag he was bringing into the jail! As he stammered his plea of ignorance it went from bad to worse when more people were brought into the room. The seriousness of the situation was growing! In the end they arrested my father for "promoting prison contraband"....thus the above mugshots! :D

For months my father remained in a fog of confusion about how the hack saw ended up in that bag he brought to the jail that day. He had to hire a lawyer and over the course of months he was in and out of court. The whole time the mystery of the hack saw loomed.

About six month later my father saw his friend, Smitty. He had known Smitty for years and in the course of the conversation Smitty asked,

"Hey Bill, did you ever get the saw I returned to you?"

Smitty continued, "I saw your car parked in front of your house and it was unlocked so I put it in a bag that was in the back seat. Did you find it?"

Did he ever find it! But not in time to avoid being ARRESTED! :)