So I've been threatening to write this post for months now. I've known the title of it for a long time. I could feel it stirring for even longer.
In case there is even any question, this post would be one NOT to show to my parents, thank you.
Last November I was made P.O.A. Before then I couldn't have even told you what that stood for. Now I know it like the back of my hand and wish I didn't. Power. Of. Attorney. I knew what D.O.A. stood for long before last November. And over the past months I have decided that in my book, P.O.A. and D.O.A. are about one in the same.
P.O.A. doesn't sound like a bad thing. And truthfully, it probably isn't if you don't have a complicated situation like I have with my parents. There are too many details and complications to name -- just trust me on this one. You are just better off not knowing all the details. *I* would have been better off not knowing all the details. But that just hasn't been the case.
Over the past 7 months I have laughed at the absurdity of so many things, and cried at the sheer volume of things that I had on my P.O.A. To-Do list day after day. This has dragged on for 7 months.
Did you hear me?
I have faxed paper after paper to place after place. I have written letters, explained things and re-explained things, made phone calls, written more letters, mailed letters, checked balances, received phone calls, spoken with people that are as unhelpful and rude as they come. In general, I have spent an inordinate amount of time all on and in behalf of the dreaded P.O.A.
I am tired of it. I feel cranky about it. I cry about it, complain about it, and even think bad things about it and occasionally say bad things about it. And, it changes nothing.
With aging parents come things that all of us would rather not deal with. I would have loved to go on my merry way merely dealing with my own little life. So why do I do it? Simply because it is the right thing to do. No matter the past grievances or the muddy history there is an obligation; an obligation to do something for someone that they cannot do for themselves.
I like to search the scriptures for things that apply to me; things that help me see a higher purpose in my earthly experiences, things that can remind me that perhaps my experiences are not so much about whether I like what is happening to me as it is about how I choose to respond. So I go to the scriptures seeking wisdom, comfort and solace.
"But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased." Hebrews 13:16
"And thou shall do that which is right and good in the sight of the Lord: that it may be well with thee..." Deuteronomy 6:18
"Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it."
So, while I just want to wake up one day to no faxing, no mailing, no P.O.A. related phone calls, no surprise letters in the mail, no emails and no conversations about P.O.A. and no thinking about P.O.A., I also want to do what is right and good. I hope that in some small way that is what I am doing...doing good, seeking and pursuing peace, even if it is within myself.
*The picture in this post makes the family laugh because we are quite sure that our mother meant to write WARRANTIES on the folder, not WARRANTS! At least that is what we are all telling ourselves! And how many people have a file folder labeled "Police Reports"? We think this would have been more appropriately labeled Accident Reports. :)
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